Change

So much. So fast. So painful. So mixed with joy.

Change is an inherent piece of every journey. Mine has been too full in recent weeks. At times it has been too much to bear alone. Yet here I stand, moving, progressing, putting one foot in front of another in spite of the weight I carry.

I thought the goodbyes were over when we left Kansas. They warmed my heart and exhausted me at the same time. To see and feel the love of our community in so many tangible ways. With each goodbye, tears were shed. Hugs were shared. Relationships were celebrated. I was SO ready for the goodbyes to be over, even though I often lingered longer than was necessary...not wanting to let go.

If you received one of my shuddering, sobby, snotty hugs, you know what I mean. My sisters. My brothers. My family. My church. My colleagues. My community. If my tears didn't stain your shirt, rest assured they were shed for you. Maybe while packing boxes, driving away, or thinking of times we had.

And then we left.

And then it got worse.

I finally saw what I had seen all along.

Another goodbye.

The hardest one, yet.

Thank God for friends. For family. For hugs from strangers. For newfound community. For familiar faces in unfamiliar places. For a new job that fills my heart and mind with joy. And most of all...for hope...I hope.