Contemplate a Facebook facelift

Facebook. I have an account. Of course I do. Some of the reasons:

• I'm a professional communicator
• My friends and family are strewn all over the country
• I like looking at pictures of my Friends (and creeping on pictures of my Friends' Friends' Friends)
• I'm a world-class procrastinator
• I lack the discipline to assemble any other chronological documentation of life events
• I'm too lazy to find interesting web content on my own
• I'm addicted to Salted Creamery's ice cream

As of the last six months, I've been increasingly dissatisfied with myself as a Facebook user. It's not that the people at Facebook Inc. are doing anything wrong. It's not that my Friends keep posting dumb stuff that gets me riled up. I just don't like the way this medium is intersecting with my life. Surely you've felt it, too:

• People's Friends' Friends' Friends creeping on pictures in which you've been tagged
• Bubbling feelings of envy while perusing Friends' vacation photos
• Talking yourself out of feeling like you've been excluded since you weren't invited to that party that many of your Friends seem to have attended over the weekend
• Keying and then re-keying status updates that never see the light of day because either A) nothing is quite clever enough or  B) no one really cares, anyway, right? 
• Discovering an important life update about a Friend via your News Feed rather than a phone call or face-to-face conversation
• Growing discomfort with how much Facebook knows about me (and with how that data is used to turn profits -- remember I'm also an advertiser who delights in how specific we can target Facebook advertising)
• The sheer volume of Friends I've hidden from my News Feed indicates that there is a gap between what I expect/want/need and what I receive from Facebook

Alas, some changes are in store with how I use Facebook. I don't know what, exactly, I'll change. I may widdle my Friends list to my real-life FRIENDS (you know, people who could tell an actual story about me that didn't involve something I posted). I might quit using status updates as an opportunity to throw my complaints and woes out to the world. I may delete all of my "likes." I might remove all tags of me in others' photos. Perhaps I'll only log on once a month. Don't laugh. It could happen.